forever was never till now
by Leli1013
Summary: Fresh off their second break-up, Andrew encourages Coulson to date his ex-wife. Coulson listens. (S3 spoiler-ish)


A/N: This is me being very optimistic and clinging to the belief that Philinda is endgame. Title is taken from e.e. cumming's poem "if everything happens that can't be done".

Andrew is looking at him with that weird smile again, the one people tend to wear when they're watching a puppy struggle to climb down a flight of stairs for the first time.

Phil used to hate that smile. He could never bring himself to hate Andrew, he's too good of a man to hate, but for a short while he really hated that man's smile; specifically the way a small amount of pity and amusement would gather in the corner of his mouth whenever he was around. He saw variations of that smile for the duration of their relationship - when he came to pick her up for work it was colored with more annoyance than anything else, when he brought her home from a mission it was weighed down by relief and gratitude, and in the moments between there were varying degrees of kindness, amusement, and pity. In time, he had grown to alternatingly accept and ignore it because he has always been a mature and professional adult. Melinda married Andrew, she and Phil laid out their boundaries, and he accepted his fate to live out his life somewhat quietly pining for her. Eventually he met Audrey and came to believe that he could give her whatever piece of his heart Melinda didn't hold and love her as fiercely as he could.

He thought it was enough – his work, Melinda's friendship, Audrey's love – he was sure it was enough for a full life and a part of him still believes that. Sure, he doesn't have Audrey anymore, but he has Skye and she gives him a kind of love he never thought he would ever want or have. He tells himself that it's enough.

He is the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., he has his best friend, and he has his adopted daughter. This should be enough.

Although apparently it's not enough to wipe that stupid smile off of Andrew's face, but he's leaving today so he's just going to be friendly and ignore it.

"So, what time's your flight out?" Phil asks, looking through binders, pretending to be looking for something.

God, he can _feel_ the smile. Andrew brought it back with him when he and Melinda came back from vacation and even with him being around the Playground more and more these past few months, Phil still hasn't completely gotten used to that stupid smile again.

"Melinda said we'd be ready to go in about thirty minutes." The smile widens. "Phil, I'm not coming back."

Wait, what?

"I'll still continue to consult for S.H.I.E.L.D.," Andrew continues, "but I won't be coming back to The Playground, not unless it's absolutely necessary."

Phil isn't really sure how to feel. Concerned? Hopeful? Relieved?

He decides on confused.

"May I ask, what happened?"

Andrew leans against the back of a chair and sighs. "Melinda and I decided to end things."

Phil frowns. "I'm sorry to hear that." It's not a lie.

"It just wasn't meant to be," Andrew says with a half-hearted shrug. He looks Phil in the eye, his smile free of pity, but still kind and a little sad. "You know, even when we started again, I had a feeling it wasn't going to work. All she ever talks about is you and the kids." He chuckles. "That's how she refers to you and the team: 'Coulson and the kids.'"

"That's –"

"The last thing I ever wanted to do was get the way of this family."

"You haven't."

Andrew rolls his eyes. "Phil, how many times have you heard Skye call me 'Mom's boyfriend'?" He shakes his head. "The boundaries were different this time because it wasn't just the three of us anymore. They made it different. And, honestly, I'm not all that upset about it. Those kids made her better, they've brought some of the old Melinda back and if it wasn't for them she and I wouldn't have had a second chance to end things the right way."

Phil nods his head. He can't really argue with him, Skye and Fitz-Simmons, they've helped her heal in a way no one else could. She smiles more and laughs more, and when they touch her she doesn't shrink away quite the same way she used to. Fitz and Skye called her Mama Bear one day and she beamed. Andrew isn't the love of her life anymore and neither is S.H.I.E.L.D. and Phil knows he never will be because it's the same for him.

Andrew checks his watch and smiles at him again. Phil smiles back.

"Can you do us all a favor, Phil? Just make a move already."

"What?"

"It's been thirty years, you know exactly what." He gives his old friend a slap on the back. "Don't be an idiot."

And with that, Andrew Garner leaves the Playground for the last time.

Four months later Phil Coulson is sitting at his desk watching Melinda May eat an omelet over their daily morning meeting and trying to work up the courage to do as he was told.

"You're staring and you're omelet is getting cold," she tells him once she's done going over the plans for the day. "I told you, Simmons made it so it's safe to eat."

"Do you want to have dinner?"

"I'm not done with my omelet yet."

"No, not right now, obviously. I meant tonight. Do you want to have dinner with me tonight?"

"Don't we have dinner together almost every night? Fitz and Hunter are making tacos, I think."

"I mean _just_ us. You and me at a restaurant. Unless you don't want to have dinner at a restaurant. We can have dinner here. Or we can do it another night. Any night, really. Skye can hack into any restaurant's system and get us a table whenever."

She carefully sips her tea, peering at him over the rim of her mug.

This isn't going how he and Skye rehearsed it last night.

"You know what? Forget I said anything. Taco night with the kids sounds great."

Melinda puts her mug down and licks her lips. When she speaks her voice is quiet, cautious. "Are you trying to ask me out on a date?"

Phil pushes his breakfast aside and diplomatically folds his hands in front of him. "Yes."

"Why now?"

"Skye said you're supposed wait at least three months after a break up."

"Oh." She bites her lip. "What restaurant?"

"An Argentinian place about an hour east from here."

She studies him for a moment. "I'll tell Skye to make the reservation for 7:30." She gets up and collects their silverware. Leaning over his desk to collect his plate, she gives him a wink. "Don't wear a tie."

Hours later Skye and Fitz-Simmons are seeing them off with teasing grins he can't help but laugh at. He's wearing a different suit and no tie and she's wearing a deep purple sleeveless wrap dress Skye and Simmons had managed to dig up from who knows where. He tells her she looks beautiful and she plays with a button on his jacket and his heart flutters.

Dinner is good and wonderfully uneventful. They agree to not talk shop and manage to be pleasantly surprised to learn that they still have other things to talk about. He tells her he wants to go to Tahiti, the real Tahiti, and that he's determined to take her and the kids to Disneyland one day. She tells him she's willing to put up with Mickey Mouse if he takes her to Hawaii. He already has both trips planned by the time they're finished with dessert.

When they pull into the Playground's garage she has him put Lola's top down and skillfully climbs onto his lap. They stay there for what seems like hours, making out and fogging up the windows of his car like the teenagers they were when they first met, and when he sighs a quiet "I love you" into her mouth she smiles against his lips.

"Finally."

A/N 2: I punched this out at 1 AM and is completely unbeta'd so please keep that in mind if you review.


End file.
